A DOG HAIKU
FROM BUD AND PAT

  I lie belly up  
  In the sunshine, happier than 
  You ever will be 

   Today I sniffed 
  Many dog butts-I celebrate 
  By kissing your face 

  I sound the alarm ! 
  Paperboy-Come to kill us all- 
  Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! 

  I sound the alarm ! 
  Mailman fiend-Come to kill us all- 
   Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! 

  I sound the alarm ! 
  Meter reader-Come to kill us all- 
   Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! 
   
  I sound the alarm ! 
  Garbage man-Come to kill us all- 
  Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! 

  I sounk the alarm ! 
  Neighbors cat-Come to kill us all- 
  Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! 

  I lift my leg and 
  Whiz on each bush.  Hello spot- 
  Sniff this and weep 

  How do I love thee? 
  The ways are numberless as 
  The hairs on my rug 

  My human is home ! 
  I am so ecstatic I have 
  Made a puddle 

  I hate my choke chain- 
  Look world, they strangle me ! 
  Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! 

  Sleeping here, my chin 
  On your foot-no greater bliss-well, 
  Maybe catching cats 

  Look in my eyes and  
  Deny it.  No human could 
  Love you as much as I do 

  The cat is not all 
  Bad-she fills the litter box 
  With Tootsie Rolls 

  Dig under fence-why? 
  Because it's there-Because it's there 
  There-Because it's there 

  I am your best friend, 
  Now, always, and especially 
  When you are eating 
  
  You may call them fleas, 
  But they are far more- I call 
  Them a vocation 

  My owners' mood is 
  Romantic-I lie near their 
  Feet.  I fart a big one